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2008年9月11日 星期四Y

i'm feeling tired n weary...

life has to go on.

all the time, i though i got nothing to lose in this world ever since that matter.
which is why i'm not afraid of being out alone all the time.
until one day, he told me, "you've got me to lose".
i always told myself, take everything easy and even if one day he leaves u, at least u will not be as sad as last time.
his words woken my deepest, inner soul that i locked n buried it down straight to my heart core long time ago.
he's right, i've got him to lose now cuz he is important and means a lot to me.
though up till now, i kept on self-denying. i still can't lie to my heart that he've become someone important in my life that i'm afraid to lose more than anything.

all i want to do is to let us have some time together for the one last time.
the rest will be decided base on our destiny and i will have no regret for my entire life.
ever since i learned that i've failed the module again, i've become fearful this time.
totally, freaked out.

i don't want to end up spoiling our holidays.
It's enough, seeing someone you love being sad for some reason that you've caused.
Once, it's enough.
I'm going to try one last time.
throwing my fave.job away, w/o distraction for just one last time.
If at the end of the whole matter I still can't pass the module, I will accept whatever answer that fate have arranged for me.

i totally hate what a shit situation i'm being stuck in now.
heart blue w/ glitter 晚上11:39